I never knew marriage would bring out the bachha in me like this and life would be once again filled with the childhood excitement of playing pranks and getting pleasure out of it. Jiya, my lovely wife gets startled easily but that doesn't stop me from scaring her with sudden appearances. Infact, now we maintain a score against each other and it’s a never ending game which adds spice to our life. After all life’s all about small doses of fun. But because of the horrendous screams of Jiya, everytime we had to send a ‘All is well’ text to the neighbours followed by detailed explanation the next day. Jiya's screams always brought mischievous smirk on their otherwise stressed faces granting the screams as authorised to a newly wedded couple. I guess that was okay with us also initially but I guess then it started becoming a bit embarrassing. One day I got up at midnight as I was feeling thirsty. As a dim light is always ‘ON’ in the dining area and the refrigerator is next to the kitchen door, I am generally okay with not putting ‘ON’ the kitchen light. I took a bottle and closed the door of the refrigerator and then I heard Jiya getting up. In our home the bedroom door opens straight into the dining room that means it is in line with the kitchen also. I knew that not finding me in the bed she would look for me and come to the dining area. And as she did that I opened the door of the fridge with a jerk and threw my left hand and leg in the air. She howled and screamed on top of her voice as the light of the fridge throwing up on my face and half hung self made Jiya cry like hell. Realising the level of horrifying deed, I quickly ran towards her. I hugged her tightly and tried to pacify her but to no use. She kept crying for a good amount of time and to top it, my nieghbour also gave a call to ask if ‘All is Well’. Now that was may be a bit unexpected at around two past midnight. “Look Jiya, I’m sorry. I really am.” I was trying to console Jiya who was still crying miserably. “Please forgive me and I promise we would put an end to these stupid pranks”. Now this one probably worked and she looked relieved. We slept off that night holding each other tightly. “Positive effects of scaring your wife”. Ha ha!!
But now how to gain that sadistic pleasure again. He haw haw haw!!! I just promised Jiya that I won’t startle her but the show must go on and it demanded lot of innovation this time as the tricks had to be new and of course required a certain level of expertise. Alright. My wife is a fitness freak and doesn't miss her daily walk for anything and that day when she came back she had a stuffed and blocked ear. It is a very irritating thing to go through. I have experienced it myself. So when she got it, she came to me. “Harsh I don’t know how I caught it but I noticed it during my walk. Guess I must’ve have developed it during sleep”. I kept my book aside and listened to her. “It has even started paining now and its making me going crazy. Please do something about it.” She holded her ear and sat on the chair next to mine. Suddenly my prankster mind started working again but I devised something simpler this time. I took some time to fiddle with my laptop and came with the bright idea. “Sweetheart I just checked on net that in this particular situation if you keep your ears covered for sometime then this stuffiness goes and it helps to reduce the pain also. Try doing it with the earphone as it will fit the ear well and will not allow the air to move in at all. If it doesn't improve till tomorrow then we will see the doc.” I tried hard and succeeded in controlling my wicked smile. Now jiya is kind of less techno savvy and more than that, trusts me for such solutions, so didn't made efforts to check back on net. I gave the earphones to her and she placed them on the ears like an obedient child. It was 8 in the evening and surprisingly she hadn't remove it till we hit the bed at 10. I kept looking at her again and again and there was she busy with her household chores with the earphone on. I smiled and got busy actually searching the solution for stuffed ears at net. By the time she came to the bedroom post dinner it was more than two hours and I guess her patience just gave up. “Harsh this earphone thing is just not helping. Are you sure this would help”? I looked at her sympathetically this time. Poor girl was still donning the wired gadget even with her night suit on and I realized that it has been stretched too far. Now how to own up the act. But had to do it. So as she lied in the bed, I quietly said “Jiya, if you promise me that you will not get upset with me I’ll tell you something”. There was a confused look on her beautiful face. Generally such stuff is said by a lady and more so it was just not my thing. May be thats why I did’nt put it up that well. The question mark look on her face was waiting for me to speak again. Quite meekly I added, “Sweetie that was just a joke. Earphones don’t help for stuffed ears.” I was barely audible and conscious of her reaction, there was a sinking feeling. “Whhatt”? She snapped. “Come again. I think I did’nt get what you said”. I guess her reaction was genuine. I might have not made myself audible. Trying to put up a brave self, I carefully placed the most adorable smile on my face and spoke again “Jiya that was just a small gag”. “Life had become so boring after that night. So simply to make life a bit more interesting I …”. Although I was trying to justify my deeds but seeing her red face I couldn't complete my explanation. “And to do that, you made a bakra out of me”? She loaded herself with the nearest pillow and charged at me and then just did’nt stop. I kept running from one room to another shouting “Jiya, m sooooo sorry”. But as if her ears actually got stuffed up. I kept shouting, she kept following till her ears forced her to stop, due to the increasing pain. And then I slept at the couch and she ruled the bed that night. “Side effects of playing a bad one”.
This last one made me one point up but knew Jiya won't leave me now. Was a bit cautious but never knew she would strike back this way. It was a weekend and yet another reason to celebrate life. Planned or impromptu, weekends are fun. So this was a Saturday. Jiya had made ‘Pao Bhaji’, my favourite. A perfect way to end an evening full of endearing times, soft music and my favourite drinks. Where I enjoy my drinks, Jiya is a teetotaler. But that’s okay as she doesn't have issue with me drinking. Although she would love if I don’t drink but since I like to, she’s fine with it. So after my evening shower I placed the makeshift seating in the terrace, put on the music and went towards the bar. As I opened the bar my eyes popped up with shock, there was not a single bottle in it. The very next moment I got assured that Jiya might have cleaned the bar today and forgot to place the bottles again. “Jiya, where have you kept my bottles”? There was no reply. “Jiya, my bottles”? Again, no reply. I went to the kitchen to speak to her but was taken aback to see her smiling. “Jiya, my bottles are not there in the bar” I was impatient. “Yes. I threw them all”, she said in the calmest way possible. It appeared as if while speaking she developed horns on her head and dressed in a black cloak, she looked like a witch to me.
“You did what”? I couldn't believe what I just heard.
“You had enough fun in life now its my turn to see how you spend a weekend without drinks. And mind you, today is a dry day so won’t get anything outside also.” She nailed it quite well.
My recent acts didn't leave me in a position to utter a word. Still I made an attempt before calling it quits. “Jiya, I know I have troubled you a lot but take out your grudge some other day. Just forget it for today. Afterall, its a Saturday night. Lets have a good time together". But of no use. Jiya had made up her mind. As there was no point in convincing her, I sat quietly at the bean bag in the terrace. My mind was racing to find a solution to the problem and there I got one. We as college students used to try cough syrup to get a feel of that light headed feeling. Getting liquor for underage youngsters is banned. So we had this alternative. And that day was one such day after long years when I didn't have a bottle at home and couldnt get one from outside. There was no other way out of this problem so picked up a bottle of cough syrup from the bedroom and sat quietly at the bean bag. Jiya sat next and couldn't stop laughing. I looked at my empty bar and then at cough syrup in my hand and sipped it quietly. The evening breeze enjoyed it all. The music, the grin, the smile and the smell of cough syrup. The prankster’s den just saw the scores drawing nearer. Add your own crazy ideas to make the battle more exciting.
This blog is part of Write over weekend initiative of blogadda where a story is to be weaved around the three words, Prank, earphone and cough syrup.